Angela Grillo

Enrich your life through sacred, creative, integrative dream practices.

dream crafting

become one with the moon

dreams, precognitive dreamAngela Grillo
IMG_6638.JPG

Thank you Rainbow Love App for the beautiful art to design & play with!

 

On June 16, 2011, I called this dream “THE MOON”

I was told I need to get as much light from the moon as possible. I go in this small outdoor patio, white, with chairs to sit on (feels like old round chairs at a bowling alley). My sister, Amie comes in with a friend, Brian. I want to sit on his lap in order to get the best light. When we get in, I don’t need Brian because the chairs are high enough. It is the biggest-brightest setting moon I have ever seen.

Its so big and so close. Just outside these windows my back is faced to see, just at the horizon of the ocean is this moon which looks like the setting sun and I am soaking it all in. This is what I am supposed to do.

Walking into a spa – on a bridge – following a woman who knows and is telling me the science behind this moon in particular and why it is so powerful, where its from. She gets side tracked as we walk in on ice. Little mounds of ice through the hall and into the spa. Through overweight naked women. I’m leading the woman to show her where the bathrooms, changing rooms and sauna are. Though there is ice, there is steam. Especially coming off the large pool up the steps to the right. We are also being followed by a group of women. I get back to asking her about the story.

Now the moon is setting and I’m outside, closer to the water. I look up and I see more moons. One is a crescent moon. Another male friend walks out towards the still large full moon setting. He is walking on a dock. I can’t see where it ends, but he’s going. He has his shirt off. I feel like, he’s not coming back this time.

In honor of our recent power-full moon, I am peculiarly feeling into this dream, remembering the work I did with it at the time, how many moons later I realized this dream was a premonition or precognitive dream and that the dream and the moon, still resonates and is guiding me to more insight.

A dream that keeps giving…I think I will reflect on this dream every full moon because there is so much to share and learn from it - it has been giving to me for over six years! As I go back through my journal from June 2011, I realize I don’t have a lot of entries of my waking life. I was very busy at the time directing a play in Los Angeles. It was a a new start of a play in development, “Box, Window, Door” that was opening soon at the Hollywood Fringe. I was working intensely and consistently with my dreams with dreamworker and Shaman Chris Doggett through the use of Embodied Imaginationa process based in alchemy developed by Robert Bosnak. (EI will be discussed more in depth in future posts). But there are no entries of how I was feeling, about anything.

I think about this now as I sit in feeling and realize how being in feeling has dramatically shifted who I am, the actions I take and how I treat others. My perception of myself and everything around me has changed, including how I feel about the future. We all have the power to manifest and its through feeling – how does a thought make you feel?  Living through feeling is a new way to be! It is becoming conscious of who you are (inside). We can get all the information we need from within, if we listen…how does that thought make you feel? If it makes you nervous, I completely understand. I was anxious to start writing this.

When I worked this dream through Embodied Imagination, I became the moon or what the moon feels like inside of me. It was:

cool, spinning, giving, floating, contained power, happiness of giving light, higher consciousness, sponginess, tempurpedic, resilient – takes an impression, feels one with earth and living with it – connected to

I would meditate with this composite points of feeling(s) throughout your body that are realized through becoming the symbols/places/people in a dream, in this sort of body graph of feeling and let it do its healing and I would wait for a new dream.  

Then in October 2011, I went to India and studied yoga. I met my Guru and miraculously attracted 50+ people to a full moon meditation that lasted over four nights; the three leading up to the full moon and the night of. I say miraculous because I told no one, it was originally only going to be about three of us – by the end, the rooftop overlooking the Ganges was completely full and we were glistening and feeling into the phrase “become one with the moon”.

I felt what it was like to become one with the moon and it was scary, at the time. I could not feel my own body as I knew it. Its like all my pores opened up and it was cool and there was movement, it felt like flowing water, as if I was floating. What was scary was the loss of feeling contained within my own skin. There was expansion of my cells that were no longer touching yet connected to everything. I felt like I was becoming one with everything and there was no single me anymore. I was losing attachment to my identity.

I was told, “do not be afraid of what your body can do.”

Dreams are based in feeling. You wake up from a dream and you most likely feel something. You know those dreams you can't shake and you live with them all day? That's because we remember them based on how they make us feel. They are living within the body.  The body holds so much more than we know, known and unknown. Do not be afraid of the wisdom within - within the body, spirit, and soul. Do not be afraid of the consciousness beyond the conscious mind.

While working with dreams, there is never one answer and there is always more to discover. Let it unfold and trust in the unknown.

 

NOTE: Posts may only include part/s of the dream. 

*BOLD TEXT = DREAM IMAGE

*italicized text = interpretation and/or what resonates for the dreamer

"Snakes in my dreams"

Animal Dreams, dreams, recurring dreamAngela Grillo
Image from alchemicalmagic.com by Irene Payne

Image from alchemicalmagic.com by Irene Payne

“Snakes in my dreams”

Dreams are full of metaphors and symbols we often don’t understand. We can theorize, we can look up the many different interpretations online or say “well, I saw that yesterday so that must be why I dreamt it.”  Dream images are layered with conscious and subconscious associations and experiences we personally and collectively have.  They are also full of mysticism and mystery.  Snakes, are definitely one of them.

My dear friend Jennifer lost both her parents last year.  This year has been one of the toughest times of her life. She was very close to her mother.  She is looking at her life differently now because of this. I believe her perception is changing.  She had and is continuing to have snakes in her dreams.  A boa constrictor, loose in the house. One playing tricks on her – she knew in the dream she was seeing the snake again and thought “I should’ve known you were here!”  This snake keeps coming and going.  Another, she was able to escape from in a field.

Sometimes dreams are hard to figure out and they take time to work with and integrate the energy of a symbol or an archetype. We have to ask questions. We have to let the dreams speak to us, explore them, honor them. I discussed a couple of these dreams with Jennifer.  I had all my knowledge of snake symbolism and its transformative power ready to go. I’ve had plenty of snake dreams and worked many times with Ted Andrew’s Animal Speak.

So I know the snake is about death/rebirth, the shedding of skin and its mystical nature because while in this state its eyes cloud over and it is said to have the power to live between worlds.  The snake has perception, wisdom, transformative and healing powers.  Dreaming of a snake may be an initiation -  an awakening of your life force.  This could be creativity, sexuality – all energies found within Kundalini, subtle energy that is within each one of us.  In yogic culture, kundalini is symbolized as the snake coiled up at the bottom of our spines, until it is aroused, then we quickly begin to experience its power unleashed in us.  

 

So we talk about health, jobs and wealth (inner/outer).  But the power of the snake was not resonating solely on any one of these topics. We discuss forgiveness, and we remember her “mama”.  We feel her mother at the core of our conversation the entire time. But we were missing something, just as she felt she didn’t know in the dream but then she knew! It had to be something that goes in and out, the wisdom is there but not acknowledged all the time.

Then I remember “…look into the hearts and souls of others…look more closely into your own heart and soul.” (Andrews, p363).  I ask her “what are you most afraid of?”

“Not being loved,” she says.

Her mama would love her no matter what and now that she is gone, how could she be sure she would ever be loved again?

The dream is talking about everything we discussed, but in order for the shift…she has to love herself as a mother would – her own mother within.

 

We all have blocks around loving oneself. If not, then you have worked on it for a long time and that is amazing! I’m sure you are sharing this love with the world and that is very important. In this dream, the snake may be here to help transform these blocks within Jennifer. This dream being shared, is a reminder to me of one of the most important aspects of understanding your dreams, which is to develop a relationship to your inner self, which is here to guide you to loving yourself more - to live wholly through the integration of all the aspects of yourself – the dark/light, good/bad, masculine/feminine, etc.

So when you think you know what a dream is about…keep digging…keep asking questions.  When you touch on what your soul is trying to get you to hear – you will know. Your world as you experience it may come crashing down, but trust its for a change in perspective for building it back up again.

This dream guidance would not be here without Jennifer’s recurring dreams of snakes and her fearlessness to share. Our stories and dreams are vulnerable and collectively powerful. I am grateful for you and your dreams Jen.  I hope more of you will be willing to share yours, for they hold wisdom and transformative healing abilities for all of us.

 

NOTE: Posts may only include part/s of the dream. 

*BOLD TEXT = DREAM IMAGE

*italicized text = interpretation and/or what resonates for the dreamer

 

 

 

Me, Too - The Intruder in Our Dreams

dreams, recurring dreamAngela Grillo
Image from Marie Louise Van Franz's  In  terpretation of Fairy Tales

Image from Marie Louise Van Franz's Interpretation of Fairy Tales

Me, Too - The Intruder in Our Dreams

There is one that penetrates me deeply to the bones and it’s the man within my own psyche.

I feel this fear every time I have this dream. I can feel it now as I am writing about it.

 

Recurring Dream:

I am running from someone. A man. Him. I am trying to find a place to hide. It’s dark out. Night. I go through multiple places, sometimes an empty hotel or convention center or a house. Trying to find the best place to hide...I run through showers, spa like areas and locker rooms until I find a bathroom to hide in. (Bathroom, a place to express oneself.)  I crouch down, I am silent. I sweat. I feel the cold, damp floor. I wait and listen to see if I hear him coming. My heart beats. I’m terrified.

 

He, is the Intruder, that prevents me...all of us...from furthering. From owning our own power, beliefs, identity. 

I recognize him as my masculine shadow aspect in the self that "manifests as the spirit of courage" in all that we do including our thoughts, feelings, using your voice to express your needs and developing one's own spiritual beliefs. (Clements, Analyzing Your Dreams Dictionary).

I see him as the collective unconscious’ masculine energy energy associated with doing, creating, destroying, opposed to the female which is being, containing, nurturing. (Clements, p106).

In dreams, we may meet him and experience him through feeling fear of him.  He is the dark man in the shadows. In my dreams, no light ever sheds on his face or his build. I never see him hunting me, but he is behind me, coming after me. He is the intruder in our psyche.

The intruder doesn't only show up in women's dreams - he shows up in men's too.  You may be running from someone, authority, conflict or fighting with another man.  This would reflect the shadow not acknowledging this unconscious aspect of yourself, there is conflict between it and the ego.

I was unconscious of him for a very long time. Night/darkness unconscious. I had many different versions of this dream over the years. My sister recently shared one of hers with me, which was similar and carried the same weight of dread upon her. It wasn’t until I was well into dreamwork, studying Marion Woodman’s theory of feminine consciousness when I spoke of one of these dreams. It was suggested to me to begin reading “Women Who Run With the Wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estés.

There it was! Chapter 1: Stalking the Intruder, the Beginning Initiation - the story of Bluebeard. For those of you who do not know this tale, Estés will indeed tell it better than I, so please do read her stories. She also has a live performance series called “Theatre of the Imagination”, which is very powerful to listen to. Her storytelling is healing and truly transformative.

 

Bluebeard is a tale of a frightening man with a blue beard who entices the youngest of three sisters to marry him. This young woman is lovely and innocent and naive. Unlike her sisters who had the intuition that something was not right with Bluebeard, he had some sort of power over her. The young woman was not in touch with her instincts yet. There was no mother or father to teach her these things. As the story goes on, her sisters attempt to guide her. Through her unconscious desire she does something she was told not to do, which leads to the undoing of Bluebeard’s power over her life and so many other women like her.

 

I finally stopped dreaming of running and hiding in the bathroom, when I began to acknowledge my strength as a spiritual being.  I began embracing my power within and honoring my own beliefs, gifts and creativity. All the things I wasn’t authentically doing.

THIS is how we change consciousness. Tuning in, listening to the dreams, sensing, feeling - in order to become aware of the beliefs and belief systems handed down to us from generation to generation and making a conscious decision to believe you have the power within to change them, the power to think and act differently, the power to use your voice and discuss with each other - as I see so many sharing "Me, Too" stories on Facebook. 

So how do we share this power of awareness to those that were never taught differently or our young? How do we build trust in our feelings and instincts through our sensing abilities when something doesn't feel good or right? How do we protect our innocent, vulnerable, and delicate youthful beings? This is a discussion that I would love to be having.

I believe we all have to live this way. We have to trust our inner guidance, use the power of our voice and support one another through feeling. And stop letting others make poor decisions for us, our communities and our country. The transformation begins within. 

 

NOTE: Posts may only include part/s of the dream. 

*BOLD TEXT = DREAM IMAGE

*italicized text = interpretation and/or what resonates for the dreamer